Guardsmen

Guardsmen Bachelor Auction
@ Ruby Skye
June 19th 7-10pm

J-Me (in middle)  Posse of Women (surrounding)

I crashed the Guardsmen Bachelor Auction at Ruby Skye because among 25 eligible bachelors, I knew it would be easy to round me up a posse of women (that's me in the middle). These women were ready to put out, money that is. It's for a good cause though and that's really why we're all here. The Guardsmen Bachelor Auction proceeds contribute to send 2,500 at-risk youth to outdoor education programs and provides scholarship support to more than 250 students at Bay Area private schools each year.

Another Guardsmen success story?... No

The bachelors were accompanied by some spectacular date packages which have included memorable experiences with private jets, cooking with celebrity chefs, helicopter tours of wine country and over-nights in the fantasy suite (although that part was not confirmed). I counted the ratio of women to men to be roughly 30.5 to 1, which makes it a huge untapped gold-mine for single straight guys, especially when they don't have a price tag. Yet somehow, over the years women have paid thousands of dollars to purchase a man for the day and have now gotten stuck with them for their entire lifetime. In it's 10th year of auctioning off men, they've actually come away with a few success stories. In 2005, Teola bought Matt on the open-market and he is now the father of their two children. In 2006, Chloe claimed Ken for the a date package to Sonoma and two years later they were hitched. Also that year, Michelle decided to attend on a last minute decision that would change her life forever, as that's where she met Jerry (Jerry's first and last Bachelor auction).

Bachelor: Jeff Tandaguen, Firefighter.

Bachelor: Connor Pritchard, Producer/Author

SOLD!

Keith L. McLane, Auctioneer 

The first bachelor that came out that evening was Jeff Tandaguen, the firefighter. The lady that originally claimed him ran away and Jeff had to be later re-bid (unless that was just a ploy to have his abs come out again). After Jeff, the Bachelors following were reluctant to take off their shirts. The man that I thought was the most impressive on stage was the Auctioneer Keith L. McLane so I tracked him down in the VIP section of VIP (it does exist). Keith is one of only eight auctioneers in California to have achieved the National Auctioneers Association's Benefit Auction Specialist (BAS) designation. Even before I knew such a thing existed, I could tell he'd had some experience in this fast-talking scene by the way he handled the bid-and-ditch situation.

Hypnotic's drunk schwag bag 

Hypnotic also popped up at the Bachelor auction that evening and targeted the ladies with their signature blue drinks, and handed me an assortment of items that had their logo on it. Strategy Suggestion: Don't just brand random items because you can. None of these schwag items had anything to do with Hypnotic alcohol (well maybe the underwear). Also, putting your logo across the front of sunglasses is asking people to never wear them in public. Your branded schwag is out of control right now Hypnotic -sober up.

Cheers... To the ladies that are willing to buy a guy for a "good cause"

CRASHED IT #70 Guardsmen Bachelor Auction!